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Paula says:
August 18, 2011 at 4:55 pm
I read his post to mean that they only lived together very briefly when he was between jobs and scrambling for new housing, and not that they’re living together now.
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Paula says:
August 18, 2011 at 4:58 pm
And also that they didn’t get those 3-4 months in the beginning, because they were not exclusive, and then he was gone for 5 months. So it’s almost like year 1 didn’t count, as it seems like the first hint of any sort of seriousness is when he stayed with her between jobs.
One of the awesome things about being 41 is that you (hopefully) know your body and your sexual likes pretty well by now. I have found that men our age respond best to coaching that is couched as praise. So, “It REALLY turns me on when you _______.” Feed the behavior you want to see. If you want things a little rougher ( I’m wondering if maybe he’s being a little passive–because of your equatingof mediocre sex with nice guys), tell him that you like things a little rough. But, don’t ever criticize him. Just say, “It would really turn me on if you did A, B, C.” Or, show him what you like. Say, “I would really like to touch myself in front of you. Would that be okay?” If he’s at all astute and giving, he’ll be watching very carefully to see what you do to turn yourself on.
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